The Inner Critic in Your Head Isn’t Always Right: Understanding Cognitive Distortions

You know that voice in your head that tells you you are not doing enough, not smart enough, not “that” pretty, not trying hard enough?

Yeah. That voice?

It lies. A lot.

I remember once after a class presentation, I walked back to my seat convinced I messed everything up. My voice shook, I skipped a bullet point, and one classmate yawned. My brain went full drama mode: Everyone thinks I am stupid. Why did I even try? That was embarrassing. I am literally incapable of speaking in public.

Except… five people told me I did great. Even the teacher smiled.

But could I believe them? Nope. My inner critic was already on a power trip.

Psychologists call these negative thought spirals cognitive distortions, twisted ways our brains interpret things, especially when we are anxious, tired, or insecure. These thoughts feel real, but they are not based on facts. They are brain habits and bad ones.

Let meet a few of these sneaky distortions:

• Catastrophizing: You spill coffee and now your whole day is doomed.

• Mind reading: You assume your friend is mad because they replied with “k.”

• All-or-nothing thinking: If you do not get 100%, you’re a failure.

• Overgeneralization: One awkward convo? “I am terrible at socializing.”

• Labeling: “I messed up” turns into “I’m a mess.”

Sound familiar? Do not worry you are not alone. These distortions are common, especially in high school when everything feels extra intense (because hello, hormones, academic pressure, and figuring out who you even are).

The trick is not to fight these thoughts with toxic positivity like “I am amazing!!” when you do not believe it. Instead, get curious. Ask yourself:

• Is this 100% true?

• Would I say this to a friend?

• What’s another way to see this?

That time I thought my presentation bombed? I replayed it later in my head (minus the panic), and realized it was actually fine. My voice shook because I cared. That yawn? Probably not about me. People are tired. That is not personal.

One of the best tools psychologists use is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and it is basically about learning to notice, challenge, and reframe those distorted thoughts. It is not about “never thinking negatively” it is about not believing every mean thing your brain says at 2 a.m.

So here is the deal: your inner critic might sound like you, but it is not the full version of you. It is fear, perfectionism, and past experiences bundled into a voice pretending to protect you. But you get to choose what voice you listen to.

And maybe next time, instead of spiraling, you can pause and say, “Hey brain… thanks for the feedback. But I’m not taking that personally today.”